I’m a solidly built 6’2 male. I have broad shoulders, big calves and a big chest. I have hazel eyes with long lashes. I have jet black hair and ten tattoos. Soon to be eleven. I have huge hands and big feet. Long fingers with smooth skin on my hands. My lips are plump for a boy, and extremely soft. My whole body is in proportion to itself and I suit my size.
This isn’t my online dating profile- this is just a truthful description of me.
At this point you’d be forgiven for thinking I’m attractive. If Online Dating profiles only required text based descriptions of people though- I’m sure we’d all be models. Alas, they also require a photo and most people will refuse to accept you if you don’t have at least one to two. This speaks volumes about the online dating world.
It’s still all about appearances. Thus the inherent irony. Girls go online to get away from the typical male stereotype they meet in bars and clubs (as almost 1 in 2 profiles state) yet are drawn to the appearance of EXACTLY those types of males online. How do I know this? Let’s cover the basics of my two years experience online, just the nuts and bolts of it.
My profile has been described by 3/4 of my “Add” list as “Perfect” or “The best I’ve seen on this whole site” or “Amazing”. No egotism or ad lib here I’m quoting word for word. I’m a writer- I can sell myself. I’m also a hopeless romantic. These two things mixed together and given the opportune place (Online Dating) to combine them and I’ll shine. But despite this almost flawless profile every 9 out of 10 girls I add reject my request. Either quoting “Not my type” or just not giving a reason at all. Even the ones I send a friend request too.
Now an optimist would just figure that these girls clearly weren’t into a fully employed, caring, sweet, writer who wants a proper relationship, who wants to find love but wants the whole cutesy dating life first with the silly text messages and playful nights. An optimist would figure they’re not into a guy who wants to wait to have sex, until it means something, or a guy who wants to meet the parents and ask their permission to date, or whom wants an old world relationship with a new world twist. An optimist would figure that a guy who respects women and treats them wonderfully, who won’t cheat or be dodgy, is just plain out of luck.
But a realist. A realist my friends would tell you the truth. They find me unattractive. So unattractive that even the prospect of a conversation with an intelligent, sweet, nice guy isn’t enough to sway them to accept. Online, I feel more repulsive to women than I could ever possibly feel in real life. Because in real life I cover my bases. I’m funny, funny enough that I can keep a girl talking and laughing for hours. But online? I’m just a face- and not a pretty one either.
This, my loyal and friendly followers, whomever you may be- is why online dating is such a farce. I have met perhaps one woman in the online environment whom was clearly out of my league. Oddly, I married her and gave her a child. Go figure. After she dropped her barriers – she realized the “ugly” guy (she never stated it but I knew she’d felt she’d “Settled”) could provide for her in terms of security, money and love. Go figure again.
Online dating as an Ugly Guy is comparable to a 6 year old child competing with body builders in Mr World. Or a flower trying to grow in a desert. Depending on how much femininity you like to add to your metaphors.
When you’re up against six packs, perfect hair, perfect faces, perfect skin, guys who snowboard and surf, guys who look like they stepped out of Mens Health and billionaires. What hope do you have to match up? None my friends- that’s the truthful answer. But what you do hope is that you have the patience that the girls that aren’t accepting your requests are going on enough bad dates with the douche bags that they’ll realize that you are, in fact, their best prospect. Maybe your face isn’t as perfect- but you’re marriage material. They know this already they just refuse to admit that they’re better off “settling” and dating someone “Below their league” rather than the douche that cheats. (Though not all douches cheat, and not all attractive guys are douches).
Hang in there. You know your value. Maybe you’re not confident in your face or your body- but make up for it in other areas. Be funny. Be confident. Be charming. Don’t act like the world owes you a favor because genes screwed over your facial features. It doesn’t. These are the cards you were dealt. Rise above it, date the living shite outta that beautiful girl and make her fall in love with you. Don’t do what I did. Don’t mess with her heart when you finally have her.
Even ugly guys can be douches until they’ve learned they’re lesson.
Keep on keeping on my aesthetically challenged brothers and sisters.